Prescriptive Action

"I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out."
-- Comedian Steven Wright

When I first started learning about white privilege, I was confused about what I was supposed to do about it. It seemed I was being accused of something that was out of my control. As recipient of unearned privileges,  privileges I had never asked for, what can I do? I can't ask the police to pull me over while driving because of my skin color. I can't ask a store clerk to follow me around, making sure I don't steal anything. I can't ask a prospective employer to doubt me based on my skin color. I can't ask a neighbor to dial 911 when they see me entering my own home because they suspect I am a burglar. I can't go back to my childhood to ask teachers to doubt my intelligence, work ethic, and integrity. I can't ask school principals to assume the worst about me. I can't ask people to forget about my humanity and simply ignore me or actively avoid me. This isn't my fault! It isn't under my control! I hate racism! What am I supposed to do??!!

And honestly, what I want is for everyone to have the same privileges I have. It's not that I want to give up the respect I receive in my day-to-day life. I just want everyone to be treated with the same respect that I receive.

Slowly, slowly, as I continued trying to figure it out, I learned a few things. I'm still learning. But here is my prescription-in-progress:

• Be aware of the privileges that come with European skin and hair and facial features. Notice them. Every day.
• Notice the African Americans in your environment and say to yourself: "I have superior privileges, but I am not superior. It isn't fair. And it isn't my fault. But I need to be aware of my unearned privileges so I don't come up with racist explanations for the state of racial inequality."
• Give enormous respect to African Americans who have achieved success in academics, business, politics, and other areas that are associated with European American success. Contemplate that they likely had to work much harder and overcome many more hurdles than successful European Americans in the same field. 
• At the same time, avoid the guessing game: Don't allow your mind to make up another person's story. Don't try to figure out another person's story and then ask questions of them to see if you got it right. You'll likely make assumptions based on stereotypes -- because that's all we have to go on -- and you'll likely get it wrong. And you'll likely annoy people. Because so many people have come before you and made the same assumptions and asked the same questions. Instead, notice what you have in common with all the human beings around you and connect with all the human beings around you based on commonalities -- not differences.
• Notice the African Americans in your environment and respect them as human beings with human worries, human love, human joy, and human pain. 
• When you are in a group that includes African Americans and/or Latin Americans or Native Americans, don't assume the leadership position by default. Let others take the lead. You don't have to be the leader. If restaurant staff, for example, assumes you are spokes person for your diverse group, pass that privilege on to another member of your group.
• When you have the opportunity, use your white privilege for good. This might mean standing up for people who are being treated unfairly. For example, when the Walgreens manager insists that the African American middle schoolers leave their backpacks at the front of the store while the European American middle schoolers get to keep possession of their back packs, you can say something to the store manager. Or teach your middle schooler to watch for this kind of thing and speak up. Follow up on racist comments made in private. For example, the dad who complains about all the black kids at the Palo Alto public swimming pool. Or the principal who labels an individual African American child as "aggressive". Or the neighbor who watches for crime by watching for African Americans. Or the mom who complains about all "we" do for "them". 
• Notice the difference in the ways people think about and talk about crime depending on the continental ancestry of the suspect. If the suspect is European American, ancestry will not be part of the narrative. If the suspect is African American, crime and ancestry will connect in the narrative. Be aware that this practice feeds racism.
• If you are a parent, talk honestly with your children about racism. Teach them what to watch for. For example, have them pay attention to how the teacher responds to children in class. Talk about it with them. Ask them who is getting in trouble and why. Ask them which children the teacher admires as good students. Ask them what the teacher's expectations are for different kids in class. Ask them who the presumed leaders are. Have them question rather than absorb. Have them connect with their peers based on commonalities other than skin color and hair texture. Be proactive with your children.
• Recognize what you share with people of African descent, and Asian descent, and North and South American descent, and Australian descent, and European descent: What you share is human emotion. And whether joy or grief, there is nothing more beautiful than that. Because it is all about love.

<3 I love you for reading. Thanks for sharing these concerns with me. I don't want to feel alone with all this. It's hard feeling alone with it.