Dear White People: A Fun Film

The Dissolve: You’ve been called an “equal-opportunity indicter,” but the film doesn't feel like it indicts people at all. 

Simien: I don’t think it does.

The Dissolve: It’s sympathetic to everyone. Even its worst villain has a few mitigating factors. 

--From an interview by Tasha Robinson with Director, Justin Simien.

I watched Dear White People last night with my husband and daughter, and it was a lot of fun! And I loved seeing it at the Grand Lake Theatre in Oakland. My first time there!

The audience was probably 70% European American, and maybe 10-15% African American. Many/most people were there in mixed race groups. The audience in the theater behaved like fans at a soccer match, cheering the "scores" and "ooooing" and "ouching" the rough stuff. A group of about four young women sat directly behind us and provided running commentary, which was generally very amusing, and at times even helpful. It was a ton of fun watching and hearing Etagu react!

Etagu could hardly believe it when, after we got home, she realized we had taken her to an R rated movie. But I had figured there would be nothing disturbing in it that would be new for her, and I was mostly right. She was shocked and offended by the "black face" college party, but, as we learned in the credits, that stuff happens. It was perfectly appropriate for her.

So, about the movie! We are so accustomed to seeing African American stereo types from a European American perspective, it was fun and interesting seeing them from an African American perspective. There were so many more of them! And stereotypes of European Americans were also in abundance. If the point still needs to be made that our lives are richer when we are exposed to many perspectives, this film helps to do that, if only through the number of stereotyped characters that an African American can come up with for both African Americans and European Americans. People may still be in boxes, but better to have many boxes than just one or two. And, of course, what is really important about the film is that it looks at very real issues. 

The only really painful part of the movie is the black face party. Seeing the African American characters react with painful disappointment and disillusionment to what they were witnessing was wrenching.

The ending is, from comments I've seen on social media, somewhat controversial. I think it disappointed some. But I found it to be a refreshing surprise. Etagu asked my about my favorite part of the movie, and I sheepishly said "The ending." She said, "Mom! You're such a hippy." I don't think I'm a hippy. That box doesn't fit me. I want more boxes to choose from. Maybe Justin Simien can help me out.

Prescriptive Action

"I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out."
-- Comedian Steven Wright

When I first started learning about white privilege, I was confused about what I was supposed to do about it. It seemed I was being accused of something that was out of my control. As recipient of unearned privileges,  privileges I had never asked for, what can I do? I can't ask the police to pull me over while driving because of my skin color. I can't ask a store clerk to follow me around, making sure I don't steal anything. I can't ask a prospective employer to doubt me based on my skin color. I can't ask a neighbor to dial 911 when they see me entering my own home because they suspect I am a burglar. I can't go back to my childhood to ask teachers to doubt my intelligence, work ethic, and integrity. I can't ask school principals to assume the worst about me. I can't ask people to forget about my humanity and simply ignore me or actively avoid me. This isn't my fault! It isn't under my control! I hate racism! What am I supposed to do??!!

And honestly, what I want is for everyone to have the same privileges I have. It's not that I want to give up the respect I receive in my day-to-day life. I just want everyone to be treated with the same respect that I receive.

Slowly, slowly, as I continued trying to figure it out, I learned a few things. I'm still learning. But here is my prescription-in-progress:

• Be aware of the privileges that come with European skin and hair and facial features. Notice them. Every day.
• Notice the African Americans in your environment and say to yourself: "I have superior privileges, but I am not superior. It isn't fair. And it isn't my fault. But I need to be aware of my unearned privileges so I don't come up with racist explanations for the state of racial inequality."
• Give enormous respect to African Americans who have achieved success in academics, business, politics, and other areas that are associated with European American success. Contemplate that they likely had to work much harder and overcome many more hurdles than successful European Americans in the same field. 
• At the same time, avoid the guessing game: Don't allow your mind to make up another person's story. Don't try to figure out another person's story and then ask questions of them to see if you got it right. You'll likely make assumptions based on stereotypes -- because that's all we have to go on -- and you'll likely get it wrong. And you'll likely annoy people. Because so many people have come before you and made the same assumptions and asked the same questions. Instead, notice what you have in common with all the human beings around you and connect with all the human beings around you based on commonalities -- not differences.
• Notice the African Americans in your environment and respect them as human beings with human worries, human love, human joy, and human pain. 
• When you are in a group that includes African Americans and/or Latin Americans or Native Americans, don't assume the leadership position by default. Let others take the lead. You don't have to be the leader. If restaurant staff, for example, assumes you are spokes person for your diverse group, pass that privilege on to another member of your group.
• When you have the opportunity, use your white privilege for good. This might mean standing up for people who are being treated unfairly. For example, when the Walgreens manager insists that the African American middle schoolers leave their backpacks at the front of the store while the European American middle schoolers get to keep possession of their back packs, you can say something to the store manager. Or teach your middle schooler to watch for this kind of thing and speak up. Follow up on racist comments made in private. For example, the dad who complains about all the black kids at the Palo Alto public swimming pool. Or the principal who labels an individual African American child as "aggressive". Or the neighbor who watches for crime by watching for African Americans. Or the mom who complains about all "we" do for "them". 
• Notice the difference in the ways people think about and talk about crime depending on the continental ancestry of the suspect. If the suspect is European American, ancestry will not be part of the narrative. If the suspect is African American, crime and ancestry will connect in the narrative. Be aware that this practice feeds racism.
• If you are a parent, talk honestly with your children about racism. Teach them what to watch for. For example, have them pay attention to how the teacher responds to children in class. Talk about it with them. Ask them who is getting in trouble and why. Ask them which children the teacher admires as good students. Ask them what the teacher's expectations are for different kids in class. Ask them who the presumed leaders are. Have them question rather than absorb. Have them connect with their peers based on commonalities other than skin color and hair texture. Be proactive with your children.
• Recognize what you share with people of African descent, and Asian descent, and North and South American descent, and Australian descent, and European descent: What you share is human emotion. And whether joy or grief, there is nothing more beautiful than that. Because it is all about love.

<3 I love you for reading. Thanks for sharing these concerns with me. I don't want to feel alone with all this. It's hard feeling alone with it.

This Puzzle Piece

"Each of us has a piece of the puzzle."--Lillian Smith

European American Author, Lillian Smith,
wrote "Strange Fruit", which was banned in Boston.
"...Smith maintained that the book's title referred to the
damaged, twisted people (both black and white)
who are the products or results of our racist culture." 

My Twitter handle is "This Puzzle Piece" because I know I don't have all the answers, but I also know that my life experiences provide me with a unique perspective that has value in the big picture.

You are also a piece of the puzzle. You have your own set of life experiences, which shaped your values and ordered your priorities. It can be tempting for each of us to believe that our own values and priorities should set the standard for everyone else. But as any major league football coach will tell you, melding individual strengths into an integrated whole is what moves us forward.

No matter what television or radio stations you tune in to, no matter what newspapers or magazines you read, no matter what is in your beverage glass and who is sitting around your table, societal problems are discussed. No matter what your highest priorities are, there is something you can do to alleviate societal problems.

"It's all about the pocketbook."

We, the tax payers, are paying for prisons to incarcerate human beings for very long periods of time. In the US, we lock up a much higher percentage of our population than almost all other countries. According to the fabulous Wikipedia volunteers, these are the numbers, per 100,000 population, in a few selected countries:

Seychelles 868
United States 707
South Africa 294
Singapore 233
Mexico 211
Saudi Arabia 162
Canada  118
Ethiopia 111
Switzerland 87
Germany 78
Tanzania 73

Glancing through the full list, Seychelles (pronounced "say-shells") was the only country in the same ball park. I'll be honest: I've never heard of Seychelles, a set of islands well off the coast of South Africa, but I don't think I want to go there. Do you think Seychelles is an exceptionally safe place because so many people are locked up? Or do they have so many people locked up because people are so much more dangerous in Seychelles than in other countries? Can you tell from looking at these numbers where you would be the most safe?

If it makes sense that US taxpayers need to pay to lock up 707 people per 100,000 people, there must be some truth in these kinds of statements: We are more than nine times safer residing in the US than in Germany; or  people are more than nine times more dangerous in the US than they are in Germany. We are more than four times safer residing in the US than in Saudi Arabia; or people are more than four times more dangerous in the US than they are in Saudi Arabia. Looking over the list, can we make sense of the numbers this way? Are we much safer? Or are our people much more dangerous? Or is it some other factor at work?

How much do tax payers pay for incarceration, and what do we get for it? Incarcerated people pay no taxes. Taxpayers pay 100% of the support of incarcerated persons.

If it's all about the pocketbook, we can save taxpayers a bundle by decreasing our incarceration rates. If this is your puzzle piece, go ahead and bring it to the table.

"It's all about safety."

What causes people to hurt other people? Psychologists will generally tell you that people who hurt others have been hurt themselves, oftentimes as children. We pass it on.

Who keeps children from getting hurt out in the world? Clearly they don't always do it, but primarily, that's a parent's job. Generally speaking, a kid's best bet is with their parents. While no parent is perfect, the instinct to keep our children safe is very powerful.

When we lock up parents for long periods of time for non-violent crimes, we set our society up for violent crime down the road. We are making our society less safe because we prevent parents from doing their primary job, which is to keep their kids safe.

Courtesy of the ACLU, here is just one example of a harsh sentence for a non-violent crime:

 

Patrick Matthews was arrested while riding in the truck of a friend who pawned stolen tools and a welding machine, which he was convicted of stealing. Patrick is now 25. Since he was sentenced to die in prison three years ago, he has completed his GED, and participates in Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous. "I never in the world would've thought that could happen," he says. "Made one mistake and was treated like a murderer." Patrick had no violent criminal history and had never served a single day in a Department of Corrections facility. He desperately misses his two young children, Blayton and Hayley, who are eight and six years old. One of the judges who reviewed Patrick's appeal said he did not "believe that the ends of justice are met by a mandatory sentence for this 22-year-old," but that legislation mandated sending Patrick away for the rest of his life because of unarmed burglary convictions when he was 17.

How much safer do you feel with Patrick Matthew in prison for the rest of his life? What are the chances that his children will be safer and better cared for with him in prison? He will never be at a Back-to-School night. He will never be the applauding daddy at the school talent show. He will never pay for a single soccer season. He will never protect his children from being hurt by anyone, ever. How will his children fare? Is our society better off?

If it's all about safety, we can let non-violent parents raise their own children, giving those kids a better shot at a non-violent, law-abiding future. If this is your puzzle piece, go ahead and bring it to the table.

"It's all about fairness."

Why did I use an example of a European American felon for "It's all about safety"? Because it is so darned easy to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. As I discussed in my "Scientists at Work" post, we automatically and unconsciously associate African Americans with crime. That's why people are more likely to perceive African Americans as a threat and to dial 911 to report "suspicious activity" by African Americans.. That's why police officers are more likely to stop, question, and arrest African Americans, That's why DAs are more likely to prosecute African Americans. That's why jurors are more likely to find African Americans guilty of crimes. That's why judges are more likely to extend harsher sentences to African Americans. And that's why African American children are more likely to be perceived as a threat in school and disciplined more frequently and more harshly. And that's not fair.

If it's all about fairness, we can find ways to compensate for the automatic injustices of our human brains. We can find ways to measure the injustice. We can consciously observe the injustic. We can reverse the injustice.  We can insist that people in positions of authority, whether teachers, principals, police officers, judges, jurors, or corporate managers, are measured for bias and coached in managing their unconcious biases. If this is your puzzle piece, go ahead and bring it to the table.

So, what's it all about for you?

What's your puzzle piece all about? Go ahead and bring it to the table.