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| This European American man appears to be angry. Pretend he is a stranger yelling at you and threatening you. Will you attribute his disposition to problems with his race? |
I love my new chiropractor. He is literally 1/2 block from me, and I'm so happy with him! I might explain why I like him so much in some other forum -- maybe a Yelp review. For now I want to tell you about the conversation we had this morning.
He was wanting to know about some of the emotional challenges that might be contributing to the problems I'm having with my TMJ joint. The problems started right after I had my gallbladder removed last month, so I have attributed the joint problem to the pain I was experiencing at night immediately following my surgery. But since I still have it, he wanted to look at possible emotional triggers, And guess what? Racism showed up on my list. I told him that was the main reason we had moved to Oakland from Palo Alto. And he told me that "reverse racism" is the problem in Oakland.
There are a key list of terms that European Americans use that immediately cause me to suspect that they are not very well educated about racism. This is not a complete list of the terms, but just what is popping into my head:
- Colorblind
- Black friends
- Reverse racism
- Victim mentality
Within the first few minutes of our conversation about racism, the doctor used all of the first three. Fortunately, he never made it to the fourth. That's my least favorite. I find that term so incredibly offensive!
The doctor told me this story: His then-wife was trying to cross the street with their daughter by their daughter's school in Oakland. A woman drove aggressively past them, then came back and yelled at them. The angry, yelling woman was black.
Given that my doctor was attempting to explain the problem of reverse racism to me, I commented that he seemed to be attributing the problem to the woman's race, and he agreed that he was. I asked him, so what if a white man did the same thing? Would you attribute the problem to his race? The doctor agreed that he would attribute it to the guy being an "asshole". And he got the point. And it made him think. And that made me happy.
Can a person be colorblind and attribute problems to a person's race? Isn't a person who uses an example of poor behavior on the part of a black individual to make a point about reverse racism assuming "there is a problem with black people"?
Can a person be colorblind and feel victimized by reverse racism? Isn't a person who feels victimized by reverse racism assuming "there is a problem with black people"?
Can a person be colorblind and worry that "victim mentality" is a problem that cripples African Americans? Isn't a person who worries about "victim mentality" assuming "there is a problem with with black people"?
If you assume "there is a problem with black people", you are not colorblind.
And I would argue, nobody is truly colorblind. People notice race. People make assumptions. Committing yourself to colorblindness will never move you forward toward universal love and kindness. Becoming aware of what you notice and what assumptions you make will move you forward. And you can do it with compassion for yourself. Because the current state of your programming is not your fault. But you do have responsibility for the future state of your programming.
For more, in case you missed it, here is my earlier post about colorblindness: Can We Be Blind to Skin Color?
If these thoughts are new to you, why not spend some time this weekend, as you are out and about in the world, paying attention to your thoughts and feelings about people of different skin colors? What kinds of wonderings come to mind? What kinds of assumptions lie behind your wonderings? Really pay attention. And if you don't like the assumptions you find yourself making, don't beat yourself up. Instead, pat yourself on the back. You just grew your brain. Well done. :-)
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